Daily Blog
Updated at the end of every day, these are just quick little life updates, shower thoughts, ramblings about whatever I'm working on, and whatever else comes to mind that seems worthy of talking about!
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Updated at the end of every day, these are just quick little life updates, shower thoughts, ramblings about whatever I'm working on, and whatever else comes to mind that seems worthy of talking about!
UGH! i was supposed to go to work today but i had to call in because i woke up with a sore throat and vomiting. right as i was about to commission someone for site assets, i had to spend the rest of what i had on urgent care... at least it wasnt too bad. the first urgent care we went to tried to charge over $350, for JUST the appointment, and had none of their rates on their website when you set up the appointment!! so we went in totally blind, unable to pay for it, and the receptionist was super rude. we ended up going to another urgent care and the price was way lower and the staff was much nicer. they did a strep throat test and thankfully it came back negative, but they wrote me a perscription for some medicine just in case the issue persists. going back to work on Tuesday and HOPEFULLY i stop having to miss so much work... ah, whatever. in other news, yesterday i bought my first MLP Fakie, some weird dollar store bootleg from 2021 called "pony imagine angel". i posted a pic of it in-box on my Derpibooru this morning. i also bought an official g4.5 equestria girls doll, also from 2021, of Pinkie Pie from a series called "fashion squad". i havent posted a pic of her yet though. and my dumbass forgot to take a pic of her in the packaging. eh, its fine. i cant rly think of anything else to talk about rn so ig goodnight :P
oops, forgot yesterday's blog again. and as im writing this its almost midnight... oops ^^" lets just get this one done quick then. life is really starting to look up! im still in a depressive slump, honestly. i think im gonna take a break from updating Roadkill this week cuz i really just need a break. i keep finding myself so caught up in art that when i finally have time to myself i never spend it doing literally ANYTHING ELSE, and its been kinda eating me up, no matter how much i love making art i sometimes have to force myself to stop. i need time to focus on my other hobbies. when i go full time im already gonna be losing even more free time... i want to do other things so badly... that also means forcing myself to stop checking my socials every 5 seconds even though i KNOW theres nothing there!!! sigh. wait this is supposed to be a positive blog. uh, my eyeball collection is starting to turn into a body part collection, cuz my mom pulled some teeth on a dog yesterday and let me keep them! right now i have em in a pill bottle but its tinted blue so you cant see em that well. im gonna look for a clear container to put em in and i also need to wash em cuz theyre covered in blood and gunk and smell HORRIBLE!!! i also found a super underrated music artist that im really obsessed with right now. her name is LuLuYam and the best way i can describe her music is similar to horrorcore. ive also been told by a few people to check out this band Jesus Piece, so i think tomorrow im gonna take the time to sit down and listen to a couple tracks. i still have a pile of laundry to put away and NOW i have a bunch of art supplies sitting out but im gonna clean them tomorrow morning soon as i wake up. no matter how depressed i am i try not to let my room get too dirty and ehhhh... its starting to get too dirty. i think part of why i never do anything even if its not an important task is like, severe executive dysfunction, like i physically cannot do anything other than check my notifications on the same 3 websites unless i actively force myself to. i wonder if theres a way i can curb that so i can actually get shit done. yknow, i do notice im better at getting up and doing things if i write down that im gonna do them beforehand. not sure of the logic behind that, but maybe i can try to make a list of tasks every night! it would include things i know i would WANT to do alongside things i NEED to do so it like tricks my brain into thinking its a task that needs to be completed rather than a passtime that i wanna do after i finish my chores. i'll see how that works out! uhhh other things, other things... well, you can probably tell i changed my site banner! definitely feels nostalgic, dontcha think? i remember being obsessed with making blingees as a kid and im sad blingee isnt around anymore but at least theres still similar sites out there! its such a cute little photo editing tool thats just completely for fun and i love it. definitely think what i cooked up looks adorably bloody. im also using it as my signature on forums hehe :3 im probably gonna take a little while before i get back to working on the zine i've been making cuz drawing the same 2 characters over and over again gets exhausting sometimes, even for an ADHD freak like me. im gonna go brush my teeth (my actual teeth in my mouth, not the teeth in the pill bottle, haha!) and settle down for bed. maybe soon i'll make a page for pics of my collections, i already have a pretty large number of sticker sheets i've scanned and a few pics of what im now dubbing my Animal Gore Collection, i dont think the bottle cap collection is as interesting but hey if anyone wants to see them and get updates when i get a new one then uhh.. i guess i'll post those too, lmao. ok, bye, good night!!!!!!
i feel super overworked, ive been angry, my allergies have been horrible, ive been in a depressive episode, and honestly i think i need a break. i probably CAN ask for a few days off but im nervous to. today it all culminated in me yelling at the dogs. i felt awful about it and kept beating myself up over it because i felt like a horrible person. my manager Katie told me that because of the incident i needed to go home early and get some rest. i appreciate caring for my mental state like that, but lets be honest, the reason is closer to how i was treating the dogs in itself, not just because i was upset and needed to cool off. or maybe it was a mix of both and i just took it too harsh. my coworker and mom both comforted me and my boss is gonna talk to me tomorrow about it. so when she does, im gonna ask if i could split my lunch break into 2 shorter breaks so i have a chance to cool off in the afternoon as well, since i usually get the most stressed towards the end of my shift after not having a break for a while. i also wanna ask if i could do a personal nanny shift every so often because part of my frustration comes from being stuck in the same play room all the time... ive formed a strong bond with a lot of the dogs there, but it feels a little demeaning that my short stature makes my boss think i cant handle larger dogs. at least in a personal nanny shift im working one-on-one and it could ease me into working with the big dogs more frequently. for god's sake, my childhood dog was possibly part Great Pyranees- my two dogs right now are a Golden Retriever and a Pit Bull- my parents' friends growing up had a fucking ROTTWEILER that i was so obsessed with when i was, what, 5?! my point being i can handle big dogs and would love to get to know the other dogs in the facility. being stuck in the same room all the time gets exhausting, and thats not to say i didnt expect working with animals to NOT be exhausting, but its mentally draining sometimes to have no variety. thats why i found working food service to be so obnoxious and boring (aside from the abuse i faced from customers on a near daily basis). i think going back and forth between play rooms would help me stay stimulated enough to at least somewhat avoid high stress. i still have nobody to blame but myself for acting the way i did today, no matter how much outside things might have affected my mood, but i at least feel better now and being able to think more clearly is helping me think of ways to avoid it in the future. managing my own stress can only do so much when part of it is forces outside of my control, but i can at least tell my boss what i think could be changed to help me out so we can work on a comprimise. so yeah, my day at work wasnt great. but at least im home now, finished some art, and am able to rest up in bed. looking forward to tomorrow being a better day.
honestly its been a long time coming. i never really liked tumblr? never really been a big fan of the website nor its userbase. and its not because of the Woke SJW Tumblr Mob as people like to mock. its slightly different. lately ive been taking much more notice to the way people act on there. a large portion of the pro-kink crowd on there is very... obsessed with the idea that anyone whos even mildly uncomfortable with someone's kinks is morally reprehensible in the same vain as a homophobic conservative or a police officer. what?? and of course this is mostly with the proship crowd... i think ive made my thoughts on that obvious but for the record i generally just dont care because i can and will block anyone that makes me uncomfortable regardless, my problem with both sides is mainly how they act, and i definitely think the Grand Majority of proshippers are hypocrites at best and actively horrible people at worst. okay like, i consider myself pro-kink. im all for it! and i dont really give a shit how someone chooses to express their fantasies or what they choose to roleplay in bed. its none of my business, frankly. im just personally uncomfortable with art depicting non-consensual relationships because its triggering to me, so i avoid that type of art as well as generally avoid kinks like CNC. i do NOT think that someone disliking kinks or wanting to distance themselves from them makes them a conservative??? forgive me for thinking people should be allowed to set boundaries on their own blogs, i agree DNIs dont really work, but come onnnn. i have similar problems with other so-called progressive spaces that normally i would agree with but the people in them are just so... extremist, i guess? cant accept anyone challenging or criticizing their ideas because they care more about taking the moral highground?? like, a lot of feminists on tumblr seem to hate the whole Girly Girl aesthetic 1% because of actual issues in that community and 99% because they want an Acceptible Type Of Woman To Hate. the average white tumblr user tends to avoid anything related to other cultures and using cultural appropriation to disguise what is actually an aversion to it and a feeling that only White People should do White People Things and only Black People should do Black People Things. the status quo on tumblr seems to be to take a reasonable argument like "respect peoples kinks" and "women dont owe you feminity" and twist them into something completely different. but tumblr, despite everyone on there thinking its literally the only good social media on the planet and being The Weird Site For Gays And Autistics, has this sort of follow-the-leader mentality. if one person says it, and use enough big words and are angry enough and call enough people morally bankrupt subhumans, that must mean its the Only Good Way Of Thinking. shit, one of the big jokes on the website is how bad everyone's reading comprehension is!! and yet so many people are confident enough that theres only one good way to think and anyone who disagrees is either a Stinky Conservative or a Stinky Liberal. i know some people on there will just say "curate your internet experiences" and yeah i totally get it and i do that all the time (which is why i deleted the account i dont like using...). but aside from its userbase ive never before have i seen a website so broken and shitty that its users have to download multiple third-party browser extensions to use it in a way that doesnt entirely suck. ive never seen staff so abhorrently transphobic that "car hammer explosion" seems like a legitimate serious threat if its typed out by a trans woman. sorry to any of my buds here reading this and who still like tumblr, you do you, but me? i cant enjoy it. the entire website jsut feels like twitter with a higher character count. it has just as many problems as other social media sites and yet the userbase thinks its above all of them even while acknowledging its issues. like yeah our human moderators are known for disproportionately banning queer users, adding several useless paywalled features, drastically changing its layout to resemble twitter, and generally fucking up everything and making its last 4 users angry, but haha, at least we arent instagram or tiktok, right guys?! yeah... sorry for the rant. tumblr unironically contributed to more unbridled rage than any other website ive ever used and i dont know why people still think its a good site.
haha, sorry to any kids who look at this site, but im talking about some adult topics in this one. first of all, i finally worked up the courage to start drawing NSFW. not sure what to do about it on this website specifically... make a separate page for it? blur it in the gallery so you have to click on it to see it? keep it off of here entirely? i'll figure it out soon enough. its definitely going on my newgrounds and furaffinity though since those sites have filters. another thing is ive been thinking a lot about the concept of "proshipping". honestly, the whole argument on both sides feels like the most chronically online BS ever, and looking back, idk why i used to be so involved in it as a teen. i definitely dont agree with "proshipping" in the sense that im not exactly a fan of like, drawing NSFW of children, siblings, rape... i understand that a lot of people use it as a way to process trauma but to me its the "its just harmless kink" stuff that irritates me. then again though, its not like pedophilia and incest would go away if this type of art and fanfic didnt exist. my main concern with the opposite side of the argument really is just the insistance on engaging with triggering content. entire instagram pages n shit dedicated to just posting screenshots of people being kinda weird online and even worse when they post barely-censored porn. if you're uncomfortable with that content, or think its downright immoral, why would you share it and boost it to the feeds of even more people who didnt ask to see it? its not going to help anyone. i see this type of stuff with stuff that is ACTUALLY objectively harmful like blatant bigotry and real-life pedophilia. i can see the points about how it can be triggering to people but then dont keep engaging with it and exposing yourself to it. i dont really like the "dont like, dont look" argument at all and theres definitely quite a few proshippers out there who break their own rules just to dogpile some random person saying theyre uncomfortable with it, but at the end of the day, its kinda true, isnt it? purposefully and actively exposing yourself to something that triggers you and arguing with people who's minds are never going to change is just going to make you feel soooo much worse. isnt that the exact reason people see it as a harmful coping mechanism? i dont want this to be taken as me "defending" proshipping or whatever because im very very VERY open about how uncomfortable it makes me. it just kinda hurts my heart to see teenagers get caught up in this type of petty discourse bc thats exactly how i was as a kid and it contributed a lot to my poor mental health. if someone makes you uncomfortable or you believe what they're doing is wrong, it really doesn't hurt to block them. that goes for all types of stuff. blocking will always be so much better for you and those around you than putting it in front of even more people. your "epic own" really isnt worth making people read that racist comment or look at that weird loli porn.
god, i keep forgetting to post. i guess i never set out to force myself to post every day. i knew going into this that i'd inevitably skip a few days on accident. but that being said, not much interesting happened yesterday anyways, at least not that i can think of. today was fun though! it was mother's day, of course. my sibling and i gave our gifts to our mom and she absolutely loved them. we had a special dinner together of crab legs, hushpuppies, seafood boil, and chocolate cake for dessert. i kept struggling so hard to get the meat out of my crab legs LOLLL. i also decided to play some ponytown today. normally i play on the 18+ server, but i was actually on the safe server today. i feel like people on there are usually more willing to chat and roleplay. i made a friend on there using a pony called Zack while i was using a pony based on my fursona. we talked about our ocs' backstories, he kept complimenting how cute my pony looks and at the end of it we hung out on his party island and danced together by running around the room. it was nice! i missed hopping on ponytown and chatting with whoever came across me and ive been going back to it every day like i did when i was a kid. i finished another page of the zine which means i only have 3 left, so im gonna take another break from it, work on a little personal art, and get back to it later since i dont have much of it left. im gonna print a few copies and get some shipping supplies (plus some sticker making supplies) so i can do a quick shop drop. i'll have a blog up when it drops plus stuff on my social media so i'd honestly say you should check out my social media first bc you'll get the update a lot quicker than this website; i only update this blog at the very end of the day after all. im gonna go eat some leftovers before i decide to hit the hay. cya tomorrow (if i dont forget again haha!)
hello hello good evening! posting this one kinda late haha. sooo, me and my mom had the day all to ourselves, so we did a bunch of shopping together. we went to Five Below just a bit ago and i found a new MLP toy for my collection! its a styling head of g1's Starshine. clearly a new toy just using the g1 style and branding, but hey, a good find is a good find, and i was happy to add her to my collection! mother's day is right around the corner so i bought her a card and just made sure not to let her see it while i was checking out. it's actually an MLP birthday card for a 4 year old because i thought it would be really funny lmao. i also bought her a gift online the other day ago and im hiding it in my closet now. she loves flamingos and her favorite hobby is gardening, so i got her a big flamingo solar light for her garden! i think she'll absolutely love it. super excited to give it to her! we also went grocery shopping today so now our kitchen is stocked up again. i got some sushi for lunch and some goat cheese and mango for myself for snacks. the goat cheese is better when paired with something rather than by itself but its still delicious mmmm. oh and uh, i finished another page of my zine! that means i have 1 sketched out waiting to be finished and 3 that havent been started yet! im so close to finishing it i can just TASTE it. i cant wait to have it all done so i can start printing copies. i think im gonna print like, 5 copies for now, very small amount but i definitely dont expect to get many sales when my store finally drops. which will still be a while cuz again, its not finished, and im also gonna print a couple stickers so i'll need to buy sticker paper and laminate, its just gonna be 2 drawings ive already made and 1 new one im gonna draw soon cuz yeah i cant be bothered to be constantly making new designs specifically for stickers. ok, thats all, bye!
honestly im not too upset about forgetting to update yesterday because i still dont have much to talk about. uh, im still working on making my art style more interesting. theres one character im really struggling on, just cant get her to look right with what im going for - that is, gothic. im gonna have to look up some references for what im going for. uhhhh, im still trying to balance work and life, but im off tomorrow so i can finally force myself to continue working on the 2 drawings i have sketched. uh... i said something kinda mean yesterday and i regret it. and ummmm, fuck the met gala. who the fuck cares about the met gala? all those celebrities could spend even a small portion of what was used to fund the met gala on helping families evacuate the literal active war zone in Rafah and still have enough to host and attend the gala with the same ugly ass designer costumes. hell, even ONE celebrity could spend NOTHING, simply speak out at the event, and still it would have made such a large impact. instead they block out protesters. i see so many people excuse police brutality against protesters because "they arent being peaceful" - there is no such thing as a truly peaceful protest, because a protest isnt supposed to be quiet and easy to ignore, nothing gets done that way. and its not about how violent the protesters are being. it has ALWAYS been about what they're saying. i see so much misinformation among pro-israel circles too. like, things that have been thoroughly debunked or never even claimed to begin with and sound completely made up for the sake of winning an argument. including those who claim to care about palestine but still make excuses for the actions of the israeli government. claiming to be against the war entirely but actually theres terrorists in Gaza so like im totally against the war but its okay. youre only against it because theyre jewish. i am completely ignoring how the same amount of effort put into boycotting and protesting has been done against non-jewish countries doing the exact same thing for decades because im being purposefully obtuse to make anyone who disagrees with me look like an uneducated antisemitic idiot. i briefly brought up that israeli citizens are protesting the war and said "i kinda dont like that children are getting bombed" so its totally okay. yeah i made a good point about legitimate antisemitism in pro-palestinian spaces and how people cant handle being criticized for it and refusing to acknowledge their capacity for evil, so of course im allowed to make blatantly islamophobic statements in response to pro-palestine arguments. but i totally care about palestinians. less than i care about whining about people who dont like israel, but i care. yeah its totally okay for me to support a government that even its own country thinks is doing disgusting shit to innocent people. also read up on the history. no no not that history. no dont pick up that history. youre only supposed to read the history im trying to make you believe for the sake of my argument. put down the history book and look at this tumblr post that agrees with me, thats the REAL valid proof of my claims! god this shit pisses me off so much. maybe this sounds self-centered to say but im not exactly happy that my taxes go towards funding a war. lets be real, its a genocide, not a war. but to those that refuse to call it a genocide, surely you'll still agree with me that war is bad. right? right??? fuck this fucking world there has to be a better world for us in the future. things will get better, they have to!
im tired i was gonna work on my zine tonight but i honestly forgot. uhhhh i tried a new restaraunt today i guess. it was really good. its an arab food place. uh my mom got annoyed at me answering the questions to a trivia show out loud so now im in my bedroom and not talking at all even though im alone. so uh now im sad i guess. ive been having a depressive episode for a few days. oh and uh i rly wanna experiment with my art style specifically with face shapes keep it cartoony but make the face shapes more unique and stuff, idk. yeah.
we'll start with the good. i got a few more pages sketched out for my zine that i'll get finished up over this week, and im super proud with how both are looking so far! i also decided to test out this app called PostyBirb made for posting to multiple art websites at a time. i really really like it, its easy to use and makes things soooo much easier. will definitely be using it from here on out! but now to the bad. theres supposed to be a massive storm tonight ALL OVER the state. theyre predicting tornados, hail, floods, the whole 9 yards. ive got my tv turned to the news and moved my mattress in the middle of the floor away from my windows. im gonna put my electronics in the closet tonight so they dont get damaged since theyre the most fragile and important things i own. i think i'll be safe, honestly, but i still wanna be cautious. its not supposed to stop until around midnight too! so i dont think i'll be getting any sleep tonight... sucks cuz i have work tomorrow, but thats not my main priority here. besides, i know for sure the folks at work are keeping the dogs safe tonight, so theres nothing to worry about come tomorrow morning. wish me luck, everyone, but im gonna be fine so dont worry!
oh man im writing this one later than usual huh. so my day was fine, mostly chill besides a few dogs who would NOT stop humping other dogs at work, after work we cashed my check, got some drinks from our favorite drink place, and ate dinner which was REALLY good shoutout to my mom fr. oh, something cute happened, i discovered one of the dogs at work, a little chihuahua named Max, feels a lot less anxious when he's tucked inside my jacket. he buried his tiny little face in my sleeve and ended up feeling so relaxed that he took a nap in there!! but anyways, heres the meat of today's blog, im finally getting somewhere with my webcomic's site layout. right now its still in its basic baby HTML stage. and THIS website only rly got done so quickly bc i pulled an all nighter to finish it. this one is gonna take a little longer though for me to actually implement the changes since i'm gonna commission an artist to help me with some site assets, specifically banner art, so im gonna have to pick an artist + wait for them to finish all the pieces before i can actually update the site publicly. in the meantime, i have the home page basically done, and im gonna use that as a base for the rest because none of it is really gonna change at all, similar to this site. i think the biggest hurdles are gonna be the actual comic itself and the character page (idrk how that's gonna turn out... that page honestly might need a near-complete overhaul to make it work since im still such a CSS noob and im DEFINITELY doing a bunch of stuff wrong.) reason im commissioning someone else for site assets btw is because i really do not have time to make all of that myself with work going on and i wanna focus on my zine before i make any more art (i already took a break to do a non-zine related piece for my own sanity, but its time to get back to business so this doesnt take me 500 years...) so as you can assume, site assets arent the top of my priority list rn. ALTHOUGH, i did make some site buttons, as you can see i put the one for this site on the front page already, and the button i made for Roadkill will be up when i've updated the home page for that one. so yeah, progress is getting made, and im super excited to get stuff actually done!!! i'll probably do a little more tweaking here and there while i wait for the art to be completed. for now though i'll consider it almost complete. thats it for tonight, bye for now!
im still annoyed that i had to go to work today when i originally had the day off. thankfully it was only a 4 hour shift though, so i got a lot of free time. and the day was actually really chill. i have a normal 9 hour shift tomorrow... really wish i didnt have to work so much this week... at least next week will be back to normal. but that aside, i think i accidentally became best friends with my neighbor's dog??!! she's the sweetest little miniature schnauzer named Daisy. she keeps following me around, begging to be held and sit on my lap, coming up next to be and staring up at me until i pet her... she even kept following me up onto my porch! my girl Poppy got super jealous staring through the window lmao. Daisy got groomed recently so now she has a little bandana that she wears, but her brother Okie didn't have one! so i grabbed a spare from work that i had to take off a dog cuz she was chewing on it, and i gave it to him so they could both have an accessory. i think he looks super handsome in it, and i bet my neighbor's daughter will be happy since he told me how she will take the bandana off of Daisy and give it to Okie. it always feels nice to do something kind even if its not that important. i dont get how people can just... be mean. do you not feel awful about it? go make friends with a little dog and maybe you'll feel better, dude. ok thats all! cya!!
every day that passes i think about the genocide in gaza. its really sad to me how life can just continue as normal while children are being killed and protesters are being brutalized by police. admittedly, i'm no better - my life has been going as normal, too. i go to the store and buy snacks and i go to work and i make art and i cook and clean and i do it all while gaza continues to face senseless violence. i can't hate people who continue to live their lives normally. my problem ISNT that life is still normal for many people, but the fact that the violence is even happening in the first place. peaceful protests for gaza met with police brutality. payment processors freezing the accounts of people trying to fundraise to get their families to a safe area. children dying. elderly and disabled people and women and men and doctors and artists and business owners and EVERYONE, dying, watching their families die, watching buildings crumble. no, the issue to me isnt that life continues on, but that as life continues on, we pay no mind to the victims of this genocide. we do nothing but sit idly by and watch it all happen. we let our consumerism stop us from making a difference, because who needs boycotting, the off-brand coke doesnt taste as good! if you cant afford to donate to fundraisers and charities, surely its not an issue to NOT spend money on products owned by companies complicit in Israel's actions. surely as you go to parties and do your grocery shopping and watch TV and hang out with your friends you can still have the palestinian people in your heart and do the best you can to support them. it makes me want to cry both out of sadness and anger. i mentioned in my first blog post here about Sulphur being destroyed by a tornado - i havent seen much about that, either. but i know many other Oklahomans are devastated and praying for everyone's safety. i need to ask, while we grive for what was lost by a freak natural accident, can we also grieve for what was lost due to the purposeful actions of the Israeli government? nobody deserves this. everybody should care. even if you can't or don't do anything, please, just fucking CARE. i hate everything about this. but i know i will live to see a free palestine. i have to. this doesnt end until palestine is FREE.
well, i got my wish but in the worst way possible. i got sick at work!! i had to go home early cuz i threw up, and i dont have work tomorrow, so sure i get more time to myself now but... i dont like it lmao. also my boss wants me to come in on saturday now but like, didnt tell me or ask me before changing the schedule??? its only a 4 hour shift, but its still extremely irritating that my schedule gets changed in the middle of the week with literally ZERO heads up. the first time i had a random schedule change it was blamed on the glitch in the website but every time this happens it feels more and more intentional. the only way i can describe how i feel about this is exploited. but ah, whatever i guess, what's done is done and im gonna talk to her about it later. onto the meat of it, im trying to get some CSS worked out for this site (and subsequently Roadkill, but im focusing on this one for now) im using a visual editor for all of it because CSS is wayyyyy too complicated for me to even memorize the basics. even then im doing some tweaking here and there to make sure everything looks how i want it like adding my own images and making sure everything is aligned properly and such... my hands genuinely hurt lmfao. and its still not done but i have it pretty roughed out. im starting with the home page and figuring out the rest using the home page as a base. so if the other pages still look basic and boring and shit after the home page updates, thats why lol. i think the art gallery is gonna be my biggest challenge? i wanna make every image about the same uniform size as each other. i can easily just put them side by side in the border and since i have a specific width for the main content border it shouldnt go outside of it? but its gonna take a lot of trial and error to get them all a good size, i think. if all of this sounds extremely easy and obvious just remember im a total noob at this stuff and only have the very bare minimum memorized when it comes to HTML, let alone anything CSS related. god help me if i decide to add JAVASCRIPT to my websites. im gonna go now cuz its late and my hand is cramping, cya tomorrow!
man. it really sucks not having much time to draw. whenever i get home from work i always just feel too tired to do anything but lay in bed, and never have the time to get up and even sketch something. ive been so much more motivated than ever before to draw, but yknow, whats even the point if i never get to do it? though, i think part of this has to do with how ive gotten myself used to drawing 24/7 to the point of burnout. i constantly want to create but only now that i have a day job am i able to force myself to take breaks. i really wanna get better at balancing work and life though. i wanna at least be able to come home and do a sketch that i can finish later so i have more time for stuff outside of art, too. its kinda stressful. i wonder how other artists manage to juggle all of this. other artists that dont do art for a living that is. short blog post today cuz i dont really have much to talk about. nothing i find worthy of sharing at least. bye
i had work today, and i really wanna draw, but i gotta wake up super early so i always go to bed early because i struggle to get out of bed. im still trying to figure out how to balance work and life, especially working such long hours. why do we have to work to the bone our entire lives to be able to survive? i love my job but DAMN im too much of a commie to think that 8 hour shifts and a 5 day work week is in any way acceptable (though i work 9 hour shifts, 3-4 days a week. for a part time job?? i think i'd PREFER your typical 9-5.) anyways, not much happened at work today. dogs were pretty well behaved, no fights broke out, worst that happened was i saw a dog with some minor bite marks on her neck from rough play... so i mostly did a lot of thinking. how the hell am i gonna be able to enjoy my free time when im too tired to do anything and cant wake up on time if i dont go to bed almost immediately after coming home? why are people on the internet purposefully obtuse for the sake of winning petty arguments? why the hell do people care so much about whatever drama a random internet personality is in, and why are they so invested in keeping tabs and praying on their downfall? why do we need to "punish" people we deem as doing something wrong, as if the idea of justice can only come from watching someone's life get destroyed? why do people pretend that hating fat people and the body positivity movement is about health when they make it so blatantly obvious that they actually just think fat people are ugly and couldnt give a rats ass about how they treat their bodies? (and do they realize that by saying its about health theyre implying that anyone whos unhealthy for any reason such as disability or hormonal issues regardless of weight is a morally bad person???) this is the main reason ive nagivated so hard to older and more specific websites for posting and finding stuff despite not having any major nostalgia for the old web, cuz everyone online is just so... angry and bitter and ironypilled and always sticking their noses up the arguments of people theyve never even heard of. every website ever has these issues but at least on this website i dont have to look at anything but my own code. probably not gonna vent much about this anymore but this is stuff i gotta get off my chest if i ever wanna move past my hatred for it. bye for now
i was in a bit of a foody mood today! my breakfast was just a bowl of chocolate cereal but after i got my energy for the day i wanted to make so much food. my lunch was a homemade pasta bake - i kinda winged it but it turned out alright! kept the leftovers in the fridge for later. though what's funny is i burned my hair TWICE while making it. yeah, BURNED IT, cuz my hair is a bit long and kept getting in the fire from my stove. definitely gonna start putting my hair in a ponytail from now on when im cooking lmaooooo. i also made some treats for my dogs. i call it the "peanut butter and jelly treat" cuz its mashed berries, peanut butter, coconut oil, and water to get those last two easier to combine. then pop it in the freezer for a few hours and now you have a sweet treat for your dogs! highly reccommend using blueberries because theyre probably the best berry you can give your pups. to end off my day im having a salad for dinner. after dinner im gonna take a shower so i dont forget. if i ever write a random hygeine thing on this blog its purely because i WILL forget to do it if i dont write it down somewhere. unrelated to the cooking stuff, i finished another page of the zine im working on and i think it turned out awesome! hey, yknow whats funny? i started enjoying cleaning a lot more once i started framing it as part of the artistic process. now whenever i clean up my art supplies i also get in the mood to clean other dirty spots, do my chores, and organize my stuff... makes things a whole lot easier for deep cleaning days... and now i consider cleaning to be a hobby of mine because i just find it so relaxing lmao! ok thats it. byebye.
today i decided to start writing a daily blog on here. lately ive been using tumblr less (hence why i dont even link my tumblr here) so i figured why not yknow? im just using the same format i use for my blog posts on the Roadkill website, maybe in the future i'll figure out a more elegant way to do this. honestly, i want to allocate a lot of internet traffic to this website, i feel more comfortable here, though of course i'll obviously be active on NG, FA, imageboorus, and forums... i just dont really like social media that much. too much negativity, its taken a toll on my mental health for sure, ive noticed lately just how much i complain despite hating people who complain a lot. its hard to stay positive when everything makes you mad and everyone around you is also mad. im trying my best though! anyways, these blogs will mostly just be me talking about my day, my art, the stuff i enjoy... i will definitely be putting donation links i find important on this blog from time to time. basically just whatever comes to mind to talk about at the end of the day. that'll probably mean a lot of work stories, lol. speaking of whatever comes to mind... last night there was an absolutely major tornado in Oklahoma. thankfully it missed us, we just got a very loud thunderstorm, but sadly i cant say the same for everyone in the state. Sulphur is basically completely destroyed. as far as i know, no reported deaths, thank god, (edit: 4 people have been confirmed dead...) but the entire town has been reduced to rubble. if i find any gofundmes for people trying to rebuild their homes/businesses or get to a safe spot, i'll put them up in tomorrow's post. no need for me to say that i will also be doing the same for those suffering from the genocide in Gaza. nobody should ever have to deal with their homes, businesses, their entire towns and cities being destroyed. nobody should have to suffer like this. my heart goes out to the people of Sulphur and the people of Palestine and everyone else dealing with tough times right now. you're worthy of a happy life. i guess on some lighter news, i got a new laptop yesterday, and recently also got a printer... it definitely makes HTML and art stuff a whole lot easier now. its why i decided to start this blog! okay, thats it for now. cya.